Was drinking endless cups of tea:
The hot green tea of Asia, mind,
And not the darker English kind.
(The latter sort he had dismissed
As insufficiently sophist-
Icated for the palate finer,
Because he'd seen it at a diner.)
Such was the choice of Mr. Lee,
And so he quaffed it avidly.
They couldn't ship the stuff to town
As fast as he could gulp it down.
"Tea importers!" bellowed he,
"Ship your merchandise to me!
I'll drink it all, as you have seen,
So long as it is colored green!
A million mouthfuls, down I'd pour,
And still have room for more and more!"
He never, as he swallowed them,
Thought something else might swallow him.
Now, here is how that millionth sip
Led Lee unto a ghastly nip.
The pigment spread, in point of fact,
Beyond his alimentary tract,
And, over an extended term,
Migrated to his epiderm.
One day he was dismayed to see
He had acquired a verdancy.
"O woe! O horror unforeseen!
I find my skin is turning green!
Behold: my hide, no longer pale,
Resembles more a bunch of kale!"
Ashake with sobs, aghast withal,
He leaned against an ivied wall.
Then, as he stood lamenting there,
It happened that a passing mare
Set eyes upon his emerald hand,
Mistook it for an ivy strand
(Or maybe for a tuft of hay),
And so began to munch away.
"My hand is gone!" cried Mr. Lee.
"I fear you'll eat the rest of me!"
Alarmed, he fled across the fields,
The hungry equine at his heels.
But he the horse could not outrun,
And soon the latter's meal was done.
The last of Lee that any saw
Devolved into the horse's maw.
Thereafter came his muffled wails
From deep inside the beast's entrails:
"Oh, friends, behold my dreadful state,
And tea consumption, moderate!
The awful danger, learn from me
Of drinking endless cups of tea!"
Copyright © 2009 David Ritchie
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You are brilliant.
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